i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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