woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
