i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
