I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize