i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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