You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
