he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Will exercising make me less horny?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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