Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
