i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
