..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Randomize
