i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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