Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
