man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
