I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
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who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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