Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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