I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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