2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize