1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The Olympian is in my bed
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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