That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
