I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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