but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
