hell yes lets make some ravioli
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
