Plan B is the new Plan A
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
