I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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