Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
