oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
