last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The best revenge is premature balding
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
