so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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