we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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