I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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