Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
