...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
