At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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