WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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