omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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