Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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