I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
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Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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