I think im going to throw up on grandma
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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