Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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