I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
