I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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