By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize