butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
