we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
