FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
