Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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