I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
