Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize