WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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