$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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