i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
