We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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