So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
