Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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