i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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