You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
