Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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