why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
