I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
