we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
