it was like his penis was on wheels.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
