It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
