: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
