Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
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Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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