I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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