ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
