i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
